One of the most lovable characteristics about June Carter was her classic wit. Most exemplified in her wacky songs and poems.
Me feller flewed he do'd me dirt
Me never knewed he was a flirt
To those in love I'd now forbid
Let you get do'd like I got did.
June's "World's Shortest Poem About The World's First Fleas":
Georgie was a little girl who lived in Tennessee
She had a ticklish feeling on her ankle and her knee
Upon investigation she found a chigger and a flea
and they went marching on Georgie.
"Hoorah, Hoorey" said the chigger to the flea
"Hoorah, Hoorey, we'll have a jubilllee.
You'll bite her on the ankle and I'll bite her on the knee
And we'll go marching on Georgie."
A man named Ogden Copfrogger
wanted to change his name.
"It's a bad name he stated
and not one thats fated
to bring me fortune and fame."
So he went to wiseman to change it
but the wiseman said, "Foolish are you.
It's not the name that's important,
it's the good deeds that a man tries to do.
The world has a great many wrappings
disguising an ugly blight
so really Froghoffer or Frogplopper . . .
you know feller maybe you're right."
"Womens Faults are many while men have only two......
Everything they say,and everything they do."
Every dog has his day . . .
unless he breaks his tail, then he was a weak-end.
This is from a skit June did with Ernest Tubb on the Opry about him not liking the late hours she was keeping.
"I crept upstairs, my shoes in hand
just as the night took wing.
Saw Ernest Tubb three steps above
doing the same durn thing."
Hey Carl...ole buddy...ole knothead.....you're lucky to be seeing me today.
I am ?....why am I so lucky ?
I nearly drowned last night....
How'd ya nearly drown last night...
Well....you see what happened was....
There was a hole in the mattress and........ I fell in the spring!
HEY JUNE....How'd you like that date I got you last night....
That's what I'm talking about !!....
You ortta be ashamed... to even stand there and look at me !....
He got me a blind date last night...he did....and....I'd just as well not seen it myself!
Why...what was wrong?
IT... was FAT !!.. F A double X FAT !..
BIG !.....I never saw such a man in my life!
Well....You didn't want a little toothpick of a man...did you?
Naw !.....But... I didn't want a whole lumber yard niether !
Didn't turn out like it orta had anyway...I was just with him about 10 minutes and I went home....I did.
Why....what happened ?
Well....you wouldn't want to go out with someone that was stupid, ignorant, ugly, and hard to get along with would you?
No, I don't guess I would.
Well.. he didn't neither !